Step one for many is to locate someone to lead the marriage ritual. You should find your clergy as early in the planning process as possible in case there are requirements to be met and to ensure that the date you have in mind is available on his or her schedule. Your first stop is Witchvox's international Pagan clergy listings, which can be found at http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_index/xclergy.html
Goddess Moon Circles also hosts a Pagan clergy listing at http://www.goddessmoon.org/Clergy/weddingshandfastings/officiant_listing...
Mind-N-Magick also maintains a clergy list at http://clergy.mind-n-magick.com/Clergy/
You may also find clergy listings on local Pagan websites such as http://www.motorcitypagans.net/local_directory/clergy_listings in Michigan and http://www.washington-baltimore-paganclergy.org/ in the Washington DC area.
Once you have found you clergy, you can begin planning your ceremony. Your clergy may or may not have ideas about this. You may wish to plan the entire thing or just let your clergy do it the way they do it.
If you're planning it yourself, you'll first want to do some research, which you can begin at http://www.religioustolerance.org/mar_hand.htm
You will also find many books at Amazon.com
While the tradition-at-large says women wear white when they get married, many of us break with that tradition turning instead to the tradition of wearing festive colors, such as red instead. On your wedding day, anything goes, but, of course, it should be formal. Your guests are going to be confused and mutter things like "tacky" behind your back if you show up in a denim skirt and Chuck Taylors. If you don't care, so be it. You should choose a main color scheme for the bride and groom (if there are children they should be included in this color scheme) and a complementary or coordinating color scheme for the rest of the bridal party.
If you prefer to enter your new life as you entered your old life, clad only in sky, then you have different things to consider, such as henna, body paint and body jewelry. There is still your hair and nails, of course (we'll get to that in a minute) and shoes. Is everyone going to be skyclad? Or are we going clothing optional?
If you've begun planning your wedding, you should have already settled on a theme and your choice of what to wear should reflect this theme. Many Pagans opt for fantasy or period themed weddings. If this is the case, you may find what you're looking for at http://www.rivendellbridal.com/ or http://www.arcanelore.com/ or http://www.bridesandjokers.com/.
Many of you will opt to make your own custom gown or have it made for you. I see a trip to the fabric store in your future. Picking the pattern is easy. There are tons to choose from not only in the wedding section, but in the costume section as well.
You can start your search at http://www.simplicity.com/ and http://www.mccall.com/.
Picking the fabric is a pain in the butt. There is so much fabric to choose from and it can be very expensive. Traditional wedding fabric, like chiffon, is also notoriously difficult to sew. As a general rule, if you are getting married in the warmer months, lighter weight, flowing fabrics are used, especially silk and cotton. In the winter months, we can talk about velvet. When looking at fabrics, think about soy and bamboo as well as the more traditional ones. These are relatively new to the market, but they are high quality and can be silky smooth with a very nice drape. Definately better than polyester (yuck).
Many of us are going to be looking for natural, organic fibers. Here are some good places to start.
http://www.aurorasilk.com/index_old.html
http://www.fabricindulgenceandartsupply.com/
This, my dears, is the easy part. If you've planned your wedding, you have a theme, if you know what you're going to wear, you have your colors. Now all you have to do is coordinate and it's the easiest thing in the world to load up on flowers and cancles and call it good! If you made your own dresses, you probably have some leftover fabric that you can also incorporate into your decor to make garlands, table runners, ribbons or little favor pouches. (Plan ahead for this when buying your fabric.) Many party stores (not the liquor store, the one where you can get balloons and pinatas) will also allow you to rent things like awnings, table cloths and centerpieces.
You can get stuff and ideas at http://www.weddingdecor.com/index.htm and there's a collection of nifty do it yourself ideas at http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/cr_wedding/.
Invitations should go out about six weeks before the wedding. (You may send out an engagement announcement or a "save the date" card prior to that if you wish.) They should include RSVP information so you can plan for seating and food. You may invite some people to the wedding and others to the reception. Many Pagans have the wedding and the reception all together, but this is quite different from what many people are used to; the wedding is in a church, and then everyone goes to the hall. As Pagans, however, many of us have our weddings outdoors followed immediately by a feast and dancing. How you do it is up to you, but it will affect how you do your invitations.
First, you and your partner should list everyone you wish to invite. Friends and family members are a given, but what about teachers, employers and co-workers? Each person who is invited represents a potential expense, so think about it.
Invitations should be sent by mail. You should be clear whether you are inviting them to the wedding, the reception or both and addresses for each should be provided. They should also be urged on the invitation to RSVP either by calling or, if you want to be proper about it, returning an RSVP card in the envelope you will provide.
You should get your Thank You cards at the same time as your invitations. Gifts will begin arriving from people who can't make it to the wedding as soon as you send your invitations out. It's also just easier to do everything at once, and you might get a discount.
Check out http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com/ or http://www.invitationsbydawn.com/index.cfm or do it yourself at http://www.vistaprint.com/vp/ns/default.aspx?xnav=welcomeback
(Or, I can help you with this. My partner is an artist and I have used Vistaprint extensively. Just ask and we'll talk.)
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